flstandardbreds Chapter 151 What I Was Afraid Of
Chapter 151 What I Was Afraid Of
Sheng Junyao turned around and closed the door, his back to the Crown Prince, his hand resting on the door frame for a long time.
Time seemed to freeze in an instant.
The Crown Prince tapped his fingers lightly on the chessboard beside him, and Sheng Junyao slowly turned around and tossed a small pot of wine he was carrying into the Crown Prince's arms.
Then she unscrewed the cork, raised it towards him, and asked, "Want a drink?"
The crown prince chuckled: "Why would you drink wine when you're injured?"
Sheng Junyao froze for a moment, then tilted his head back and took a big gulp. Only when the wine choked him and he couldn't help but cough did he finally dare to look at the Crown Prince. "A-Que, I should have come back sooner."
"When the news of your injury reached me, I didn't believe it. I wanted to come back, so I ran through three cities overnight, but in the end I turned back because there were horns all around. The Di tribe had invaded, and I had no choice but to go back."
"Later I learned that your injuries had stabilized, but I was unable to return."
"When I finally came back, I didn't dare to see you. It wasn't that I really had that much to do, but I was afraid that if I saw you, I wouldn't be able to help but ask, 'Were you scared? Were you scared back then?'"
The prince looked at him for a moment, unscrewed the cork of the wine and took a sip, before saying in a low voice, "I was afraid. I was afraid of dying, and I was also afraid of becoming crippled. For the past eight months, every day when I woke up, I would forget that I could no longer walk, could no longer ride a horse and shoot arrows like before, and could no longer take a step out like before. I couldn't even take a single step."
“During that time, there were more physicians coming and going from the Eastern Palace than anyone else. Every one of them told me that it was impossible. It was impossible here, impossible there, impossible everywhere. I suspect that the word I heard most often during that period was ‘impossible.’ My legs could never get better. I could never stand up again. All my previous ambitions were ruined because of these two legs.”
“For a period of time, I killed many people. The blood aura in the Eastern Palace was overwhelming. My eyes seemed to lose their color, but I dared not close them. I couldn’t help but ask myself again and again, is it better to die or to be crippled? You see, neither is good, but I had to force myself to accept one of them.”
Sheng Junyao took another big gulp of wine, walked to the window, looked up at the moonlight in the sky, his eyes filled with crimson.
"Drink less," the prince said, placing the wine jug on the table with a slight smile. "You really should have come sooner. At least let me say this: I was scared."
"But I'm not afraid anymore."
Sheng Junyao turned to look at him, and the Crown Prince said calmly, "At least I'm still alive, aren't I?"
Sheng Junyao nodded. "Mm."
Their eyes met, and as they had done countless times before, they couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"Alright, tell me, what did you find out in Muzhou? And what about you and that Miss Xue? Today should have been your wedding day..."
“Time was short, so we only investigated a portion of it. The entire Muzhou government was basically deceiving its superiors and subordinates. However, one county magistrate had a backup plan and hid the account books, which he handed over to Xie Zhengnian, the prefect of Muzhou. I have people keeping an eye on it, and we must get the account books before the Third Prince.” Sheng Junyao took out a stack of papers from his pocket and handed them over. “Here are some of the confessions, which are the ones I found. I copied a part of the confessions and gave it to Miss Xue.”
The Crown Prince took it, looked it over, and put it aside: "I originally didn't plan to get involved in the affairs of Muzhou. Father sent the Third Prince to Muzhou, but it was just a pretext to bring him into the court under the guise of investigating the case. However, Yangyang said something that reminded me."
"Yangyang?" Sheng Junyao frowned. "When did you become so familiar with Yangyang? Wasn't she just giving you acupuncture?"
"Ahem," the Crown Prince coughed lightly, "She helped me heal my injuries, so naturally I took care of her. I noticed she's quite close to you, she is..."
"You don't know her identity? She didn't tell you?" Sheng Junyao asked, scrutinizing the Crown Prince.
"No." The Crown Prince looked at Sheng Junyao thoughtfully.
Sheng Junyao raised an eyebrow: "Since she didn't say anything, there's no need for her to say anything. Since you're going to take care of her, please keep an eye on her as well when I'm not in the capital."
“Ah Yao, what Yang Yang reminded me of is that she suspects the Third Prince might harm you. I’ve thought about it. He couldn’t possibly make a move in the capital. The only place where he can completely erase the traces is the Northern Border. The military personnel in the Northern Border are complicated. If…” The Crown Prince thought for a moment and said, “You stay in the capital. I’ll think of a way.”
“Your Highness,” Sheng Junyao took a sip of wine, thought for a moment and said, “I didn’t want to go to the border before. You know, I’ve never liked swords and spears since I was a child. But after I went to the border, I never regretted my choice. It wasn’t something I promised you. It was something we calculated and rehearsed over and over again. It was something we could do. I trust you, so I won’t come back.”
The Crown Prince said with some helplessness, "I knew you would say that, but Ayao, things are not the same as before. Our time is still too short. If you return to the Northern Border, I will be unable to help you from afar."
“I will be careful,” Sheng Junyao replied. “I have now gathered half of the forces in the Northern Territory. Give me another three years, and I will surely take the entire Northern Territory into my own hands.”
"Now is a critical time, and I hadn't originally planned to come back at this time."
At this point, Sheng Junyao sighed.
"I just didn't expect my mother to be so seriously ill. As her son, I couldn't help but worry. As for Miss Xue, I had a premonition about what happened today. I'm not really that magnanimous and forgiving, but after thinking it over, I've been far away at the border all these years and haven't fulfilled my responsibilities as her fiancé. As a woman, her situation is ultimately not easy. That day at Huguo Temple, I thought that if she already had someone she loved, I could let her have him. I can't let a young woman bear the blame for breaking off an engagement. If she still decides to marry into the family, I will have to go to the border anyway, and I can't take her with me. In the end, it would be unfair to her. So I'm willing to give her more time and a chance for us to get to know each other. What's past is past, and there's plenty of time in the future. I don't ask for mutual affection, I only ask for two hearts to be in the same boat."
"I never expected that her ambitions would inevitably clash with mine. In that case, I should cut ties decisively."
"You are still too much of a man of your word." The Crown Prince picked up the wine jug and clinked it against his own. "I'm really curious, what would you do if someone as calm and rational as you fell in love with a woman one day?"
"Why does Your Highness mock me?" Sheng Junyao clinked glasses with him. "I have dedicated myself to the country, and I will not regret it even if I die."
He finished the wine in the pot in one gulp, then stood up, lifted his robes, and knelt before the Crown Prince.
“Your Highness, I have come to say goodbye. If I am truly not able to return, I beg you to take care of Yangyang. She suffered hardship in her childhood, and I only wish that she may live a free and happy life for the rest of her days.”